“I think I’m a bit traumatised,” my father said to me very calmly during my last visit.
I clearly had a moment of panic when he said that. We sat down and I listened to him explain how he had gone for a walk in his new home town of Hamburg and seen a rather lively display of people in the city. At first I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but then it occurred to me. My dad had gone for a walk on Christopher Street Day. He had encountered a completely different culture.
For those of you who do not know, Christopher Street Day is an annual LGBTQ+ celebration held across Europe. My father, God bless him, had no idea what he was walking into.
He explained it all as it happened: the parade of giant floats and the loud techno music that made the street vibrate. He saw half-naked men and women dancing in the streets. I listened to his vivid descriptions, including how a woman walking past him stopped to take a picture of two women kissing and then walked away without a care in the world.
Looking around the street, my dad spotted another older man sitting on a nearby bench, watching the whole demonstration. They locked eyes and the other man waved my dad over. They sat next to each other and watched the whole parade, which ended with chants of thanks to the mayor.
When the parade was over, my dad said goodbye to his stranger-turned-friend and came back home.
I asked my dad how he felt about everything he had seen. Without a trace of judgement or contempt on his face, he simply said:
“I don’t think I need to see that again.”
To any modern, progressive person, that statement might have been quite offensive.
Clash of Cultures
But I noticed how my dad told me the whole story without any judgement. He simply ended the conversation by saying that it wasn’t his business – it was his decision.
What surprised me was that my father, a traditional German man, was not judging the situation. He had just witnessed a total clash of cultures.
At that moment, I found it quite remarkable that a man born in 1934 and clearly brainwashed during his time in the Hitler Youth didn’t have anything bad to say about the different culture he had just been exposed to. He was simply describing a story without judgement, but with some surprise – which we all feel when we experience something new.
I work with clients who often find themselves in situations where they are exposed to different cultures.
Whether it’s because they work in other countries, deal with clients from different cultures and experiences, or because they travel so much for work that they are exposed to these different sights and sounds.
Not Participating in Different Cultures Does Not Mean Not Accepting
My father’s story also made me realise something else. While my dad didn’t want to be part of a parade that was “not for him”, he didn’t reject the idea or notion of what others were doing.
In the same way, when we travel for work, we will witness many traditions and activities from different cultures, communities and upbringings. A small example is learning different ways of greeting people and celebrating different holidays from where you come from.
Witnessing these events does not mean that we have to participate in them. And even if we do participate, we can do so out of respect and a sense of belonging or experience. We have the choice of whether we want to accept it and participate in it again later.
Take, for example, the Korean culture of Hoesik, where you eat and drink with your colleagues after work. While some cultures celebrate and see the importance of drinking with work colleagues, you may choose not to participate for health or even religious reasons. This does not mean that you should be disrespectful. It’s a matter of communication and diplomacy.
Live & Let Live
We can make our own choices without judging what others do. Whether in a personal scenario or a work setting, the key is to be courteous, compassionate and always open to communication.
What’s a situation you’ve encountered in another culture where you found it easy or difficult to participate? Feel free to share so that we can all learn and understand how different cultures and experiences shape us.
